Taboo
by autumnangelwrites
Summary: Despite all of his defenses, Damian is still a little boy that occasionally misses his home. Good thing Alfred's there to lend a furry shoulder to cry on.


_**A/N:** Day three of my writing challenge! I've deviated from my humor theme I had going, so I hope this one is okay. I'm going to go in a bit more detail in the end notes, but basically, I'm not a Batman expert. I'll be really surprised if any of Damian's backstory is canon, because I've only seen bits and pieces of League!Damian. Still, I hope you guys like it. Happy reading! _

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**3\. Taboo**

As soon as the explosive argument fell silent, Tim knew he had gone too far. Steph, previously draped over the couch, was sitting up and staring at him with silent horror.

" _No one asked you to come here, Damian! Why don't you just go back to your mother?"_

It was a taboo subject. Tim, as well as the rest of the family, knew that something had happened between Damian and Talia. The kid shut down at the mention of his mother, and he only talked about her with the sort of clinical efficiency that was used to discuss police files. So far, Dick had managed to persuade everyone to skirt around the issue—except Jason, since he loved to poke at everyone's sore spots—despite his obvious concern. It wasn't hard to notice that there had been some kind of falling out, and that the topic of Talia should be avoided at all costs.

Sometimes, though, Damian knew just what to say to make Tim want to hurt him.

Damian's expression blanked, and he quickly turned and strode from the room. Steph made a half-hearted attempt to call after him, but she only slumped back on the couch and gave Tim a _look_ as her call went unacknowledged.

"That was really shitty of you," Damian heard her tell Tim, but the chastising didn't make him feel any better. If he were being honest, the only thing—the only _one—_ that could help in this situation would be his oblivious, happy go lucky mentor. The mentor that was currently traversing around off-world with that stupid group of useless heroes.

Damian shouldered his bedroom door open harshly, then turned and shut it quietly. It wouldn't do to make a scene; Ra's al Ghul's grandson was above such theatrics. That's what his mother used to tell him, anyway. Why show someone he's upset when he can simply have them executed?

Damian turned and slumped against his door, sliding down until he was hugging his knees. He chastised himself even as he took a deep, calming breath. He was above such pitiful displays of emotion. If he got all teary and upset every time someone poked at his weak spots, he would be of no use to the Batman. To his father.

 _Except_ , Damian reminded himself, taking another slow breath, _his father was dead._ He wouldn't ever be of use to him now. Grayson was such a soft excuse of a human being that he probably wouldn't even try to be stern about Damian's displays of emotion. He'd probably insist on _talking_ and _cuddling_ and generally treating Damian like the child that he _absolutely wasn't._

Damian wasn't ready to acknowledge how good that actually sounded.

Damian took another calming breath, then acknowledged that it wasn't working as his shoulders started to shake.

A soft meow sounded from his right, just before something soft brushed his arm. Damian tucked his head into his knees, unwilling to let even his pet witness his moment of weakness. Alfred continued to brush up against his arm, meowing louder when he didn't get the attention he was seeking. After a few more moments, Alfred shoved his head into the space between Damian's chest and legs, squirming in an attempt to get into his lap.

"Fine, you insistent creature," Damian whispered, straightening up. Alfred hopped up, purring in victory. The vibration was comforting, and Damian shifted a little closer. He stroked Alfred in silence for a while, sniffling every so often.

"It is not that I miss it there," Damian confided quietly. "There was a constant distrust within the League, and I was not allowed to grow too close with the people around me for fear that it would affect my ability to carry out orders. I was avoided because of the status of my mother and grandfather, and I was put under strenuous training in order to assess my breaking point. It is much more enjoyable in Gotham, even with this group of idiotic misfits."

Alfred meowed, nuzzling Damian's neck.

"It is just…" Damian heaved a sigh and allowed a slight wobble to enter his tone. "Mother would be so proud when I exceeded expectations. Grandfather would even express his pleasure. They made it out to be a great occasion when I passed some sort of test. Not in the way that people celebrate here; there was no great party or shower of gifts. Just simple things. Sometimes Mother would eat dinner with me. Sometimes Grandfather would show me a new technique. There was no hostility in their praise." Damian stopped to take another shuddering breath. Then, he whispered, "It was nice."

Damian curled around Alfred, warm and comforting, and allowed himself to remember everything that he lost. And if he shed a few tears while doing so, well, he was sure Alfred would never tell.

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 ** _End Notes:_** _Okay, so here we go. I have a couple of headcanons that made their way into this drabble and I feel like I need to explain them._

 _ **1\. OOC Damian**_

 _Most of the time, Damian is a little shit, in fanfiction and in the comics. I am well aware, even with my basic grasp on Batman. However, I think that he acts super snooty and rude because he likes to test the people around him. He was a commodity at the League because he was Talia's trump card against Bruce, but I think that Damian would have been mostly ignored until he was useful. Talia would give him just enough attention to get him to love her, then leave him to his own devices. It's enough to give anyone trust issues. Also, the issue everyone's skirting around is Talia disowning Damian. I know that Dami doesn't say anything in the comics when it happens, but I think that it would hurt him enough that he would be overly casual when Talia gets brought up, and I think the Batfam would know him well enough to notice it. What I'm getting at is that Dami acts like an asshole to see if the Batfam thinks he's worth the effort it takes to get to know him._

 ** _2\. Damian's Urge to Run to Dick_**

 _Dami acts like he hates the attention, but I think he secretly yearns for brotherly snuggles. Dick is the only one that truly tried to get to know him, and Dick emphasizes that Damian can act like a 10 year old boy and still be accepted. It makes sense that Dami would crave his presence when he feels hurt and alone._

 _ **3\. Dami's Rant to Alfred**_

 _I have a not so secret love of Alfred the Cat. I love Titus and Batcow, but **Alfred.** So obviously, that's who Dami rants too. Which brings us to yet another headcanon. __I think Dami bottles up all his 'weak' emotions around his family so he can act like a tough guy, but then after he goes home and locks himself in his room, I think he cuddles up to his pets and informs them of everything that's bothering him because he knows they'll still love him. He doesn't have to prove himself to them. Of course, it's Dami, so he'd still be pretty uncomfortable with all that emotion._

 _That's it for now, guys! Thanks for reading!_


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